Forgive me, I think I sinned…

4 Dec

We all know in Islaam the first glance is allowed if it wasn’t intentional but what if after the first glance you took a second look? And after the second look you just started staring? And staring turned into thoughts and so on?

I know we shouldn’t reveal our sins but it happened to me the other day, I saw a beauty and the smell was so delightful I was being led into temptation! So many thoughts and memories went through my head. I could imagine myself running away with this beauty and giving out an abundance of hugs… I’m talking about bread!

I’ve been dreaming of bread and cakey things with custard. I really have no desire for it but it’s stalking me. You know you have a problem when you look at bread and have an urge to run away with it and give it a hug! And you know you have issues if you dream of desserts (and that’s not because I’m a cake baker and decorator either, let me tell you!). The other day when my sister was making this “healthy” baguette all I had to do was think about the effects that consuming bread would have on me. I’d become a moody, reckless mess and it wasn’t worth it. Alhamdulillaah I just knew I was better off without. I thought about how I’d feel even I ‘cheated’ even with just one crumb and it wasn’t worth it.
That dream last night though… I woke up so confused this morning at Fajr (morning prayer) time thinking ‘Did that really happen??!’ – It didn’t! Phew! I can tell you I’ve woken up hungry and I need to be out the house at 8am (that’s currently 21 minutes away)

On both ‘sinful thoughts’ occasions I also thought about this image I’d seen, it’s actually quite motivating so here you go:

Also known as stuff half the population can't pronounce yet we consume it everyday... well, at least I don't... anymore...

Also known as stuff half the population can’t pronounce yet we consume it everyday… well, at least I don’t… anymore…

No matter how much you’re tempted, just remember your intentions. Why are you eating healthily? What are the benefits to your body, mind and even eemaan (faith)?
Before you feel like quitting, think about why you started to begin with!

And I’d  like to leave you with this:

diet

That’s a pretty good point. So if you do fall into temptation and you have that one crumb or bite, don’t think it’s all over. Accept that you’re a human being, you make errors and move on. Trust me, I know from experience, there’s no point in dwelling over the past, mistakes and moments of weakness. Accept it, forgive yourself and move on. Sometimes in order to get better we need to get worse… I know I did.

I also received a message from a sister telling me sugary foods were a fitnah (trial…ish) for her. Who can relate?!

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