I’m doing that really important thing today calling “sorting out your life before you screw it up so badly you end up being mental all over again”
Long title but I think you get the point. Back in September I ate all sorts of junk to have this human MOT test done to see what I was intolerant to, what the problems were with my body, to check out my hormones and yadda, yadda, yadda. I found out I was intolerant to loads things. Due to my busy life style and can’t be botheredism I kinda fell over, my face met the floor and it was downhill since then. Not like the good ol’ days(!) so it’s all good. I can fix it if I fooooooocuuuuusssss…

The list totals up to about 50 things but obviously a few categories include several things so it means most, if not all staples are out the window.

So, my intolerance list in no particular order:

1. Fructose – that’s fruit sugar in case you didn’t know
2. Cheese – I eat the raw kind if I find it and it doesn’t smell or taste like feet (note: that doesn’t mean I’ve tasted feet before)
3. Cow’s milk – I totally drink raw milk though!
4. Gluten – This is summarised as the next three items of food
5. Wheat
6. Barley
7. Rye
8. Quinoa
9. Spelt – I think?!
10. Oats – apparently I should be able to stomach (nwithhout pun intended) some.  I’m happy without.
11. Seafood – prawns
12. Rapeseed oil
13. black pepper, apparently.
14. Nutmeg – we Muslims can’t consume it anyway
15. Pork – So haraam even the test’s telling me to avoid it.
16. E211 – aka sodium benzoate aka benzoic acid sodium salt
17. E214 – aka Ethyl p-hydroxybenzoate
18. E215 – aka Sodium ethyl p-hydroxybenzoate
19. E216 – aka Propyl p-hydroxybenzoate
20. E217 – aka Sodium propyl p-hydroxybenzoate
21. E218 – aka Methyl p-hydroxybenzoate
22. E219 – aka Sodium methyl p-hydroxybenzoate
23. E220 – aka Sulphur dioxide a common preservative used in almost everything processed. Lovely.
24. E621 – aka Monosodium Glutamate aka MSG which needs to be illegal and banned from the Earth.
25. Yeast – all kinds as far as I’m aware but specifically brewer’s yeast.
26. Soya – again, needs to be banned from Earth
27. Brazil nuts – adjusted my raw fudge recipe for this. Still yummy though!
28. Cashews
29. Peanuts – really? Mind you, they are legumes which brings me on to…
30. Legumes! – all of them, this includes…
31. Lentils – all of them obviously
32. Grapefruit – was never a fan
33. Kiwi – a known allergy in my family.
34. Hops
35. Malt – as above really. No malteasers
36. Corn – aka maize, refined maize starch and all those similar things. Includes popcorn
37. Goat’s milk
38. Rice – white, brown, ground, flour
39. Allspice
40. Tomatoes
41. Flaxseeds/Linseeds
42. Nori – aka Seaweek. Need to find out if that includes kelp noodles which did give me stomach aches… oops?
43. Chia seeds
44. Kelp
45. Semolina -I was totally intoxicated after consuming halwa, an Indian dessert so that was obvious
46. Agave – agave syrup is apparently bad for us anyway… more on that some other time
47. Millet
48. Hemp flour(?) but apparently I’m ok with hemp seeds so abstaining from all to be safe!
49. Stupid people – Never tried eating one before so that’s good (the human MOT didn’t show this, I may have added that in myself
50. …

May Allaah have mercy on me and make this next stage in my life easy for me, aameen!