Just Have tawakkul

The last week and a bit was a little rough for me. Potato overload = negative effects on body… not the way you’re thinking! It just made things a little bad for me.

I ruined a few things too like my relationship with people in terms of how I communicate with them and generally my behaviour and manners; all the things I improved over the last few months. I’m hoping this damage can be reversed and even though I know me feeling a bit ‘ugh’ (I have no words) was to blame, I’m not going to blame it. I’ve reached a point where I know I’m responsible for my own actions and words now I’ve (mostly) regained my common sense. I know I’m supposed to be patient and so on, I’ve worked so hard at it and thought I trained myself well. I was wrong.

It’s not all negative though. I learnt that when something bothers me or if I’m scared and worried it’s better for me to just say it straight out just to get it out my system. Even if the person I tell can’t help me or offer advice at least it’s something I ‘let out’ and it doesn’t feel like a secret and I don’t have to suffer in silence. I felt better for just saying it although it took me a short while to ‘heal’ after that. I was really silly and for that, I sincerely apologise.

It’s funny how when we finally get our lives back on track we feel like we can conquer the world, then one silly little thing happens and suddenly stubborness and stupity commandeer! Allaahul musta’aan.
I’m glad I can say I’m making less of these mistakes now and I reflect upon my actions much sooner rather than later… although that needs some work too *face palm*

I also learnt that I like retail therapy… rarely. That’s not actually a good thing as I think I did it to cheer myself up. Although, I did need those things and it’s not like I just splashed the cash without a care in the world.

Anyway, I remembered I mentioned in an earlier post that I wanted to share a book with you: “Tawakkul (Trust & reliance on Allaah)” By Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan. I started my proper ‘healing journey’, ya know, sorting my head, heart and stuff out in the middle of June. This was one of the first books I got my mitts on to help me. In it, an aayah:

“And whosoever has Taqwaa of Allaah, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). An He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allaah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allaah has set a measure for all things.” (At-Talaaq, 2-3)

I focused on this aayah for a little over three weeks. Every difficulty and struggle I faced within that time went back to this aayah. At times, it didn’t make sense… how could I apply this to many of the situations I was in? Du’aa, thinking, reflecting, analysing each thing I was thinking about doingall came down to having truth and reliance on Allaah. I really had to understand it in order to live by it and implement it. I guess, that’s what I should have done once again over the last week and a bit when I was feeling a little rough and anxious.

I highly recommend this book. Everyone needs it and although I thought I bougth it from Salafibookstore.com I can no longer find it. Ajeeb! Here’s a picture of what it looks like so you can hunt it out inshaaAllaah:

tawakkul-trust-and-reliance-on-allah-by-shaykh-saalih-al-fawzan-4011805-0-1294149072000
This brings me on to something else I want to address… Depression. Oh no, I said a word that Asian culture doesn’t speak of! Seriously, it’s important, it needs to be discussed. Yes, I was a sufferer of depression in the past. For several years in fact. I was clinically depressed. The cause was known and I think, gluten was something that encouraged the down feeling to last a lot longer than I expected. Of course I only conjectured this after going gluten free and paleo.

When I explored a few websites to find something to help me Islaamically, there wasn’t a lot out there. Now many of you will disagree with me, yes there are du’aas, people have written tips to help, keep praying, sleep well, distract yourself and so on. You know, the usual misnomers we call “tips”. Unless you’ve been through the clinically depressed phase, you don’t really have a clue what you’re talking about. And in actual fact, your “tips” to make a depressed person feel better, make them feel much worse and even more hopeless.
It’s a funny one because so many people think depressed people “just” need “advice” and things will get better. No, unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. So I’m gonna be realistic inshaaAllaah and list some things that do help in the next post.

Don’t forget to buy the book above!

Anyone can be a Doctor

Last night I went to the Doctors to see a nurse. I was hoping I could get her to request a detailed blood test for me. I’ve been a little concerned recently because my diet is so restricted. I only eat meat, chicken, fish, fruit, vegetables, nuts and seeds. Other than my past problems ‘upstairs’ and my mental health, I don’t want to discover I have low levels of calcium due to a dairy free diet.

I explained that I was gluten sensitive despite not getting the blood tests done because I thought the Doctor who requested a gluten sensitivity test and coeliac testing was nuts. I also explained that after I was told to consume gluten with every single meal for 10 days straight, I was a little anxious. I started falling off the wagon anyway and even though I wasn’t consuming gluten often, the morsels I did take in affected my mood and emotions so I was happy to just remain GF and avoid being tested.
To my surprise, the nurse agreed with me and said Doctors shouldn’t bother testing patients if there is sufficient evidence that a particular diet works. She also recommended that we all listen to our bodies because that’s the only thing that’s going to tell us when something’s wrong.

Not too long ago I realised that I was no longer getting tummy aches, it was pretty common for me to have them in the mornings but since going GF these are no longer an issue. We discussed it and agreed that perhaps it may have been a symptom of coeliac disease. Either way, the nurse still advised against a blood test – I’m so pleased!

During our conversation we both discussed how we felt about our Doctors and how pointless things have been in the past or how they don’t pick up on certain problems. It’s really interesting to note how much emphasis she put on the fact that Doctors tend to specialilse in certain areas of medicine. For example, one Doctor is a hair and skin specialist whilst she is the lead for illnesses such as asthma. She said unless a Doctor specialises in that field, has a particular interest in it or you have a serious illness which is recognised everywhere then there is a chance the Doctor will do something about it. However, if it isn’t the Doctor’s specialist topic or it’s a ‘minor’ illness, in THEIR eyes, then usually nothing will get done about it. For example, coeliac disease. If you suffer from it, the Doctors will get you tested (and try to kill you in process by advising you to eat gluten everyday for ten days). If you tell a Doctor you think you have gluten sensitivity because you’re grumpy, had an autoimmune disease, have dry skin and several other symptoms then they’ll call you a hypochondriac.

This nurse was lovely, she told me to never come see a Doctor ever again unless I had a serious physical problem and I couldn’t agree more. Really. As much as she dislikes those real hypochondriacs who refer to Dr Google and scare the living daylights out of themselves, she praised my googling skills because I did the appropriate research, found a bunch of excellent people (and a Doc!) and implemented their advice. The result was good health, no more symptoms and cheeriness.
She told me to stick to what I’m doing and continue with my research if needed and that I would learn more fellow GFers. Apparently any Tom, Dick or Harry with gluten sensitivity is more useful than surviving medical school. Unless you’re Dr Rodney Ford. He’s a genius, he even has a thesis that’s older than me and what I’ve read of his books so far describe me so well. He was actually the first person I contacted when I considered cutting out gluten from my diet. I sent him a message and within 24 hours I had a reply confirming what I thought and was advised to leave gluten ASAP.

Anyway, I’ve made up my mind that Doctors can be pretty useless. Besides, I’ve have my share of bad experiences with them so I’m going to take pleasure in not having to see them for some time inshaaAllaah..!

If you think you may have gluten sensitivy or coeliac disease, do your research first. You may have rare symptoms and it may be difficult to find information connnecting your symptom(s) to GS but don’t give up at the first hurdle. In fact, try giving up gluten for a few days and see if you feel any better. I don’t encourage consuming processed foods but I know how difficult going GF is, especially if you’re doing it alone. If it helps you and makes your life easier, you may wish to experiment with gluten free foods. In the UK all major supermarkets often have sections dedicated to helping those with allergies with alternative foods.